When Squirrels Go Bad: A Lily Evans Story
by ProngsGirl88
Summary: When the Slytherins play a harmless prank on Lily, something goes wrong, and now the squirrels are attacking!! ok, sounds a little weird, but work with me , ok?
1. Chickens, pigs, and squirrels, oh my!

Disclaimer: Do I really have to say it? The only things I own are any of the things or characters you don't recognize, and obviously the plot.

Lily woke as the beams of early morning light fell through the window and onto her eyes. It was a Saturday morning, so she had no classes to rush off too. Although it was incredibly early, she decided not to attempt to fall back asleep, so instead she stumbled out of bed (miraculously not waking any of her sleeping friends), and tossed on some muggle clothes. Then she quietly slipped out the door and into the Gryffindor common room.

She was surprised to see that she wasn't the only one wandering around in the early morning hours. Sirius had apparently also been wakened by the sun (his bed is also by the window, don't ask how Lily knows). He was sitting in one of the many cozy armchairs, which he had pulled up to a table and away from the fire, so that he could play wizard chess with himself.

"Good morning, Sirius." Lily managed to say before letting out a rather large yawn.

"Oh, hey Lily, good morning to you too."

"Playing against yourself?"

"Yeah, I'm losing."

Lily was too tired to stop and ponder how Sirius could be losing if he was playing against himself. Instead, she plopped herself down in another one of the big cozy armchairs.

This was Lily's 5th year at Hogwarts. Her and her best friends, Thereble (Ebby) and Lidnerae (Liddie), had known each other since the very first day when they had arrived at Hogwarts, back in 1st year. The three of them had made the mistake of riding in the same boat as Sirius and James, who decided when they were half way across the lake that it would be funny to "introduce" the girls to the lake-monster. To make a long story short, the two boys gave them a shove over the side, and the giant octopus picked them up (amidst a lot of screaming) and placed them, sopping wet and scared out of their wits, back into their boat. The three girls had spent the rest of the year in absolute fear of the lake, and still would never go any where near it while any of the Marauders were around. 

Lily was one of the top students in the school, and obviously a prefect. In fact, her only rival when it came to grades was James Potter, one of the "Marauders", as he and his friends liked to call themselves. He could really drive her insane when he wanted to. She wasn't sure exactly what about him made her despise him so much. Maybe it was the constant gloating, or the fact that practically every girl in the school (not counting Slytherins)  followed him around like a pack of brainwashed zombies. Well, anyway, Liddie, Ebby, and her were good friends with the rest of the Marauders, and they would often hangout, or go to Hogsmeade together.

It wasn't until 9' o' clock that Ebby, the last of the seven friends, finally came stumbling down the stairs into the common room. By then, Lily and Sirius were starving, and practically dragged the others down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

When they finally got there, they took their usual seats at the Gryffindor table. They had just started eating and talking about their plans for Hogsmeade later that afternoon, when Lily noticed that Peter's face suddenly begun to sprout feathers.

She had just taken a rather large bite out of an éclair', and almost choked on it as she started laughing.

"Peter's…* hahaha *…face…* hahahahaha *…!!!" was all she could say before falling out of her seat and onto the floor.

"What's wrong with my face??" asked Peter, as he raised a hand to his face, which was a mistake, as his entire arm was also now covered in feathers. "Ohhhhhh…"

He soon had a beak and matching tiny claws to go along with the feathers, and looked like a cross between a human and a chicken. Everyone was soon having uncontrollable fits of laughter, while Peter sat there uncomfortably, trying to figure out how the heck he had turned into a chicken, yet at the same time, for some strange reason, he couldn't stop himself from laughing along with them.

At that moment, Lily had gained somewhat control of herself, and had returned to her seat, only to receive stares from her friends, which were closely followed by more fits of laughter.

"What?" she asked Liddie, who was sitting next to her.

"Here." She said handing Lily a glass to use as a mirror, before once again being overcome with laughter.

When Lily looked into her glass, she saw that her nose and mouth were starting to look like that of a squirrel. She glanced down at her hands and saw that they were now covered in gray fur_. 'OMG, I'm turning into a squirrel!'_ She looked behind her back to confirm her hypothesis, and sure enough, there was a poofy reddish-gray tail that could only be that of a squirrel.

She was about to turn around and lecture them for laughing at her (forgetting that she had been laughing even harder at Peter only a minute or two ago) when she realized that each of them had also started to grow random animal parts left and right. Ebby now had the nose of a golden retriever, along with ears and a tail to match. 

Sirius now had the nose of a pig, his hands had been replaced by little black hooves, and a pink curly tail had sprouted out of the back of his robes. 

James was turning into a bunny with a big pink nose, ears, and a puffy little tail, and Liddie was turning into a cat, whiskers, ears, tail and all.

They all sat there laughing at their odd appearances for a little while, before they realized the fact that none of them could stop laughing.

"What's…* hahaha*… going… *hahaha *…on… *hahahahaha * !?!" Remus managed to say.

"I…*hahaha *…don't… *hahaha *…know!!" gasped Ebby.

"You…*hahaha *…guys… *hahaha *…there's something… *hahaha *… seriously… *hahaha *…wrong here!!" said James.

"Let's…*hahaha *…go tell… *hahaha *…a professor!!" Liddie exclaimed.

"*Hahaha *…yeah… *haha *…good idea!" said Sirius.

"Professor…*haha *…McGonagall… *hahaha *…"

"Yes Lily, come now, stop laughing and explain why each of you looks like your half animal."

"She…*haha *… can't!!! *hahahahahaha *" interrupted Sirius.

"What do you mean she can't tell me why?"

"No…*hahaha *…he means… *hahaha *…she can't stop laughing!!" cried James.

"*Hahaha *…none… *hahaha *…of us… *haha *…can!" explained Liddie.

"Oh, it must be one of those laughing/animal transformation potions that the Slytherins seem to be so fond of slipping into everyone's pumpkin juice this year. Well, come along, you'll have to go and see Madame Pomfrey."

Anyone who happened to be wondering around the halls that morning was in for a rather strange and humorous sight. They would have seen professor McGonagall leading a small parade of animal/5th years, who couldn't stop laughing all the way up to the Hospital Wing. In fact, every now and then they had to stop and wait for a rather large fit of laughing, which would suddenly overcome them all, to end. Most of the 1st years were starting to wonder if it was safe to wonder the halls alone.

(a/n well, its pretty good for a start right? This chapter was mainly introductions, nothing really great, it should *hopefully * get better, don't worry. Well, this is my first real fanfic story I've done, so let me know what you think. If I don't get any reviews, or if their really bad ones, then I'm gonna end it right with this!!! Remember, be honest! Oh, and check out my friend's story, So what if I'm allergic to spiders? Its way better than mine, AND she modeled the character Bella after me!)


	2. Why am i still a squirrel!

Disclaimer: Do you really think I own anything other than the plot, and the few made-up people/objects you don't recognize? Good, you had me scared there for a moment.

animagirl: glad to see that you like it so much!! I'll try to update it at _least _once a week!

Meir Brin: I see you figured me out, huh? You must have read my other story, the Ringplant to know that, so how come you haven't reviewed for that? Huh? Huh?!?! Jkjk, glad to see you like it!!

marauder girl: haha, your welcome for the publicity! And since I did you the little favor of putting a little notice for your story in mine, how about doing the same for me ;-D? glad your enjoying it!!

"Another case of laughter/animagi potion, I see?" asked Madame Pompfrey as McGonagall led the seven friends into the hospital wing. "The Slytherins seem rather fond of it this year."

"Yes, I do believe it was either Mr. Snape or Mr. Malfoy this time. They seem to rather dislike Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans, and Co." replied professor McGonagall.

They were interrupted by a rather large fit of laughing from the 5th year/animals standing just inside the door behind them.

"Oh, I nearly forgot about you poor dears for a moment there. Come and follow me, and we'll get you the antidote for that dreadful potion you're suffering from."

They followed Madame Pompfrey to a cabinet at the far end of the Hospital wing, as Professor McGonagall left to return to the Great Hall and hand out some detentions (a/n *cough * Snape and Malfoy *cough *)

"Lets see, I know I left it in here somewhere, I had only used it just yesterday for a pour group of 2nd year Hufflepuffs. Ahh, here it is! Right on the shelf where I left it! To think, I'm only in my thirties and I'm already losing my memory! All right, now each of you go over there and lie on a bed, while I get this antidote ready."

They made their way back to the other side of the Hospital wing (why they had to even follow Madame Pompfrey in the first place, they weren't sure of, but like she said, she's starting to lose her memory, along with other parts of her mind). They each sat down on the nearest bed, and Lily ended up next to James. She was rather annoyed by this. _"Well, at least if I get bored, I can burn some time by staring at his pretty face."_ Ha, that was a laugh. The guy spent more time staring at himself in the mirror in a week than Lily had done in her entire life. But she soon became too preoccupied with the task of controlling her uncontrollable laughter to think any more about the subject.

"Here you are dears. Your fits of laughing should end just a few moments after you drink this," Madame Pompfrey said as she handed each of them a glass. "but I'm afraid the transformation back into yourselves will be rather long and painful. I've added a bit of a sleeping draught to help with the pain, so don't be afraid to lie down and take a nap if you feel a little drowsy."

They each took their glasses of the odd looking potion. It was hard to swallow it amidst all of the laughing. They had to wait for a pause during which they only giggled, and then gulp it down fast. 

Peter nearly choked while doing this. In attempts to make him laugh even harder, Sirius had done one of his imitations of Professor Silvaria (their potions teacher) just as Peter was about to swallow. As funny as this was on its own, the fact that Sirius was half pig made the scene even more hilarious. Of course, this through Peter's timing a little off, and his sudden spurt of laughing caused the potion to come out of his beak/nose. 

This display caused anyone who had been attempting to swallow at that moment to do the same. Luckily for Lily, she hadn't tried to take the potion yet, and was still waiting for a pause in her laughter.

When Lily finally had only the giggles, she gulped down the potion quickly, as to avoid having her own Peter incident. Luckily, Sirius was to busy at that moment attempting tos wallow his own potion to put on any more displays of stupidity.

She had to wait only a few moments, before her laughing stopped like the rest of her friends.

Lily sighed. She was glad _that_ was finally over. Fortunately, the potion hadn't tasted to bad. To her, it faintly resembled a Shirley Temple, with an after taste of peaches. In fact, she didn't feel any of the pain Madame Pompfrey had mentioned. Oh, wait, she thought to soon.

"Owwwww……" Lily moaned like the rest of her friends. She lied down on the bed, closing her eyes to block out the pain.

After sitting there for what seemed like forever, she realized her friends' moans and groans had all stopped. She opened her eyes, wincing, and glanced around at them.

They had all turned back into their regular selves again. Looking down at her hands, she realized that she was still part squirrel.

_"What the…"_Why did she still look like this? She had drunk the potion like everyone else! _"Well, I am still awake. I wonder if that could have anything to do with it."_ With this new thought in mind, she once again closed her eyes, and desperately attempted to fall asleep.

It was no use, though, and Lily ended up sitting up once again, only this time out of frustration. She looked around at her friends once more, trying to see if they had done anything she hadn't.

 Everyone seemed to be sleeping peacefully, courtesy of the sleeping draught. Well, everyone except Sirius that is. He appeared to be muttering something. Lily inched forward on her bed a little, so that she could hear.

"Mommy! Make the pink fluffy bunnies go away!!! Ahh!!! They're chasing me Mommy!! They're chasing me!!! Save me!!!!!Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!"

_"Okay…"_Lily thought to herself _"I'm not gonna ask…"_

As she turned her attention away from Sirius, she noticed that James was also talking in his sleep.

_"Ha! I wonder if his dreams include killer pink fluffy bunnies?" _Lily moved closer to his bed to hear what he was dreaming about.

"No!! I won't join you!! Leave me alone! I'd die before I joined your side! Hey!!! What are you doing?! Leave them alone! Expiliarmus!! It's me you want, not them, so leave them out of this!! No! No!! Nooo…!!!" he then let out a strangled sob as silent tears began to stream down from his eyes and onto his pillow.

"Whoa…Ok, that was definitely strange." Lily said aloud as she laid back down in her bed. "He's got more problems than I thought."

All thoughts of James were immediately knocked from her mind as a huge wave of pain cascaded over her. She let out a pain-filled groan and she slumped back into bed.

"Why whatever are you still doing awake dear??" asked Madame Pompfrey as she rushed over to Lily's side. She had heard Lily's groan all the way from her desk at the far end of the wing. "That sleeping draught should have put you out cold like the rest of your friends! Are you feeling all right?"

Lily tried to roll her eyes at the last question, but found that doing so just put her in even more pain. She suddenly had a splitting headache, even worse than the one she had had for week back in 3rd year when she fell 20 ft. off her broom and hit her head.

"Lily, can you hear me?"

By now, Lily's vision was becoming blurry. She was about to say something, but thought better of it, and instead just let out another large moan.

"I'll take that as a yes. Oh you poor dear, I think you may be having an allergic reaction to the antidote I gave you…"

That was the last of what Lily heard. The pain had become too strong for her, and she passed out.

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(a/n I know, I know, this one was pretty short once again, but this seemed like a pretty good point to stop. Now remember, no reviews, means no more chapters!! :-D ttfn)


	3. Bed room wars!

Disclaimer: See last chapter.

*Honorable Mentions*

starborn: _how does anyone come up with ideas like that?? I think I'll blame it on the T.V., yeah that's it, it's all the T.V.'s fault…._

animegirl: _here u go! Hope you like the next chapter, although, I have to warn you that once again I'm gonna leave ya hanging! Sorry!_

Tig: _you're annoying (she's my little sister!)_

Darcel: _Yes, evil killer pink bunnies!!!! And there will be more of them in the future, maybe even evil killer flying pigs!!!! Mwhahahahahahahaha_

silver cloud of peace: _it was weird, wasn't it?? Well, a lot of people like it that way so I'm sticking with it!! *simple pleasures for simple minds* (don't worry, I'm not making fun of anyone who reads my fics, because that saying applies to me too!!)_

~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~!@#$%^&*()_+

"Owwwww…." Lily groaned as she awoke. Her head was still throbbing with an unbelievable amount of pain. Lily looked around, trying to remember where the heck she was.  Although Lily didn't realize it, she was still lying on the bed she had been lying on when she had passed out. 

"Where am I?" she asked no one in particular.

"Oh, thank goodness dear, you're finally awake!" cried out Madame Pompfrey as she rushed to her side. "You had us really worried there for a moment."

"What…?"

"It turned out that you're allergic to cherries!! Of all things, it had to be the one ingredient that I added just to make it taste a little better! Maybe now Dumbledor will agree to that proposition I made. I'll have all the first years lining up here for an allergy test and then we won't have problems like these and…"

At that point Lily tuned Madame Pompfrey out as she suddenly remembered where she was. She looked around, anxious to see if her friends were still here, but was disappointed to see that they had all left already.

"Where are the others??" she interrupted.

"What is that dear?"

"Where are my friends?"

"And what friends would that be dear?

Lily let out an aggravated sigh, "The ones I came in here with!!"

By the confused look that remained on Madame Pompfrey's face, Lily could tell that the poor old thing, ok, not really old thing, but just kind of brain dead thing, still didn't have a clue as to what she was talking about.

"The two girls and four guys I came in here with that all looked like random animals!!!!!!" Lily nearly screamed.

"Ohhh, now why didn't you just say that in the first place??"

At this, Lily just let out another exasperated sigh, fell back on her pillow.

"What's, the matter dear?"

"Nothing." She said through her teeth. "Can you please just tell me where my friends are?"

"Ohh, of course dear, they all went down to Hogsmeade."

"WHAT?!?!?!" Lily screamed, causing Madame Pompfrey to jump. "Why'd they go without me?!?!?! Weren't they even worried about me??? I mean, I could have died!!!!!"

"Calm down dear, they were plenty worried about you after they woke up, but I shooed them out, telling them everything would be fine. Of course that was yesterday…"

"WILL YOU STOP SAYING DEAR!?!?!?!?!?! And do you mean to tell me that I've been asleep for a whole day???? And I haven't even done any of my homework!!!"

"Ohh, don't worry dear, oops, err…Lily, you're free to go now, in fact, you probably could have left yesterday…"

"I COULD HAVE LEFT YESTERDAY?!?!?!? Then why didn't you wake me up?????"

"Calm down, dea-I mean Lily. You just looked so peaceful I just didn't have the heart to wake you…" Madame Pompfrey then realized that she was talking to no one, and turned around just in time to see Lily's figure rushing out the door.

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When Lily finally reached to Portrait of the Fat Lady, which led to the Gryffindor common room, she had calmed down some bit. She realized that she had acted incredibly irrational back up in the hospital wing and realized she should apologize, but then thought better of it because Madame Pompfrey would have forgotten the entire incident by this time tomorrow.

Lily said the password, "lemon-drops", and made note to change it to "killer-pink-fluffy bunnies" as a surprise for Sirius. If I didn't mention it before, Lily had the privilege to do that because, of course, she's a Prefect. And much to Lily's utter disgust, so is James. Just thought I should clear that up ;-D. Ok, now back to the story!

As Lily climbed through the portrait hole, and into the common room, she was too busy looking around for her friends, and didn't notice the huge black dog that was galloping in her direction until it was too late.

"Sirius!! Get off me!!" Lily said, as Sirius continually licked her face. He was too heavy for her to just shove him off, so she had to wait until he was done saying "hi", before she could finally get up off the floor again.

Lily waited a moment while Sirius changed back into himself. "Where is everyone?"

"Upstairs in our dorm." Sirius told her casually.

"Why are they up there?? Why would Ebby and Liddie even want to go in there, your dorms are disgusting!"

"That's just why they're there. Ebby and Liddie were so bored today without you that they decided to clean up our room!"

"They must have been _really_ bored then!"

"Was that supposed to be a compliment, or an insult?"

"You figure it out!" And with that, Lily began to make her way up the stairs to the boys' dorms, with Sirius right behind her. As she opened the door, she met by a very unexpected sight.

There were two forts set up at either end of the room. Remus and Ebby were behind one that was made out of an assortment of furniture, which was magically stacked on top of each other.. Liddie and James were behind one that was made out of beds that had been turned on their sides. Both sides were hurling a variety of things at the other. Remus and Ebby had come across a stash of Bernie Botts Every Flavor Beans, and were casting swelling charms on them before sending them flying at their opponents. Liddie and James on the other hand, since they were right next to the bathroom, had created water balls, and just to annoy Remus, were taking the scented soaps (a/n the fifth years had to share a bathroom this year on account of the fact that someone *cough* Sirius *cough*, had stuffed the girls' toilets with dungbombs) and putting a little bit in each water ball.

"What the heck are you guys doing?" Lily asked, before she was grabbed by the arm by Sirius, and thrust in the direction of Remus' and Ebby's fort.

"You join their team, and I'll team up with James and Liddie here, and that way the teams will be even!!" Sirius proclaimed happily.

"What about Peter? Hey, where is he anyway?" asked Lily as she dodged water balls.

"I'm up here!" Peter cried meekly.

Lily looked up to see Peter toilet papered to the wall. By then she had reached the safety of Remus' and Ebby's fort. "How'd he get up there?" she asked Ebby.

"He was on our team," she said and then paused as she through a quickly swelling bean, "but James didn't like the fact that we had more people than they did…"

"What about Sirius? Wasn't he on James' team?" asked Lily as grabbed a bean, to join in the war.

"No, Sirius was 'refereeing' or, bombarding both sides with whatever he could find. When he ran out of supplies, he went down into the common room to look for anything he could use as ammunition and I'm guessing that's when you got back."

"Awww!!! James got me again, and this time I smell like blueberries!!" cried out Remus.

"Hey!!" Lily said as an idea suddenly sprang into her head. "One of these dressers is James' right?"

"Yeah…?"

"Which one??"

"That one, over there…" said Remus as he pointed to a rather large dresser.

"It's a good thing you guys built your fort with the drawers facing out!" Lily said as she conjered up and umbrella. "Ok, this is my plan, I'm gonna go out there and open all the drawers to James' dresser, and then he'll get all his clothes sopping wet with scented water! And then, I'll put a charm on all his clothes, to make them stay smelling like that for weeks!"

At this, Ebby was rolling around on the floor with laughter. The thought of James walking around, smelling like a combination of blueberries and watermelon for weeks was just too much for her. Remus on the other hand, wasn't so happy with the idea.

"You know he's gonna kill you for this, right?" he warned Lily.

"Oh please!! What could he possibly do?" Lily replied perfectly confident.

"Ok, just don't say I didn't warn ya."

But Lily didn't hear that last bit because she had already set out with her rather large umbrella. It didn't take her long to reach the dresser that Remus had been pointing to. She quickly opened all the drawers, but was surprised by what she found when she opened the last one. There, lying in a pile of dirty clothes, was a cute little stuffed pink bunny.

"I can't believe it!!!! This is too good to be true!!!" Lily said to herself, before snatching the bunny and making a dash back to the safety of the fort.

"You guys won't believe what I found!!!" Lily said happily as she joined them once again.

"Where'd you get that??" Remus asked as she showed them the bunny.

"In James' drawer!!!" Lily said before cracking up.

She was soon joined by Ebby and Remus in her hysterical laughter. After a bit, they calmed down and Ebby was able to ask Lily what she was planning on doing with it.

"Oh, I don't know…ha! I've got the best idea!!"

(a/n well, I think I might just leave it at that for now! Don't get mad at me ok? It just seems to be a pretty good cliff-hanger (I hate those things, don't you?) and hopefully you'll be wondering what Lily could possibly have in store for the poor little bunny-wabbit. Well, remember, the faster those reviews come in, the faster my fingers type!!)


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